Sunday, March 11, 2007




com‧pro‧mise  /


- a settlement of differences by mutual concessions; an agreement reached by adjustment of conflicting or opposing claims, principles, etc., by reciprocal modification of demands.
- something intermediate between different things: The split-level is a compromise between a ranch house and a multistoried house.
- an endangering, esp. of reputation; exposure to danger, suspicion, etc.: a compromise of one’s integrity.
- to make a dishonorable or shameful concession: He is too honorable to compromise with his principles . source: Dictionary.com

"Everything in life is a compromise. So it is in love as well. The tricky part is knowing which compromises are healthy, and which are risky. Which compromises will strengthen the relationship, and which will, over time, erode its foundation. Some compromises come back to haunt you when it’s too late to change the outcome. A compromise can even change who you are."

some people say love is all about compromise, without it no two people can co-exist together. i do agree that compromises are necessary, we make em everyday, but shouldn't there be a limit of what we can sacrifice for the sake of getting along? what if the compromise you or your partner are asking for would cause a hidden resentment to build up that would jeopardize the relationship at some point in the future.

plus, isn't it obvious that we crave most that which is forbidden to us? i might not necessarily like burgers and don't eat them that often, but if my partner asks me to give up burgers for life, i'd feel the need, or more like the obsessive desire to have a burger (just to be clear, i loooooove burgers)

a compromise is an important part of any relationship, it's what makes us civil i guess, but i believe in being honest with each other, i mean c'mon a relationship solely based on a string of compromises, no matter how right it feels now, is either doomed to fail or the participants are gonna feel a whole lot of resentment towards the other.

All our final decisions are made in a state of mind that is not going to last.
-Marcel Proust

If you limit your choices only to what seems possible or reasonable, you disconnect yourself from what you truly want, and all that is left is a compromise.
-Robert Fritz




6 comments:

eshda3wa said...

e thing desided to vanish!

let me try n remember since it was 6 seconds ago

rarely do i ever two ppl reaching a compromise, its usualyy one giving in to the whims of the other. mostly the woman for the man

eventhough i believe compromises are nessesary, i think they leave alot of resentment

Mrs. said...

"parther"
" but if my partner asks me to give up "

Seriously, why dont u specify the gender, tara its okay :P

Red Blooded Woman said...

nice topic and lovely opinions..
A relationship (as in say a marriage) cannot be successful without some sort of compromises on both sides. Meeting half way is the best option.. for example with the burger example... how about if the agreement became not eating a burger everyday? or atleast from a personal perspective how about eating higher quality meat burgers (vs Mcdonalds :P)
But sometimes an entire sacrifice has to be made.. such as if someone suggests for their spouse or what not to quit smoking, drinking or other drug use (other than caffiene hehe) or self destructive behaviour. I guess we have to know when to compromise and when to firmly put our foot down.

bored said...

eshda3wa: they do leave a lot of resentment, thats why the less compromise the better, we must have an understanding and try not to give up a lot of ourselves

perfect stranger: walain, matyozeen ha? ;p

red blooded woman: true, some sacrifises n compromises are absolutly important and should b made, but some just give into the other persons insecuirities...

Danah said...

tbh i think it depends on the compromise. some of them really do make u resent ur partner so it's important to figure out how much u BOTH have to compromise after u talk it out.

and ure right about craving what's forbidden. mithil maygooloon kil mamnoo3 marghoob!

bored said...

dandoon: so thats why we need to b carefull on when n what to give up on some of the things